Time Isn't Healing
by RosieDestler153
Summary: Oneshot: The last 24 hours of Draco's life. A take on Tom Felton's song, "Time Isn't Healing" Rated T for slightly darker themes. Dramione


**A/N: Based around the lyrics of Tom Felton's song, Time Isn't Healing, which I suspect with many others, that he wrote about Emma Watson. What can I say? The facts add up, but I suppose we will never know XD.**

* * *

Time was never on his side.

Time hadn't given him a chance to enjoy his blissful childhood before it ripped him of his innocence and plunged him into a world of darkness.

Time hadn't been on his side when Professor Dumbledore offered to save him and his mother from the Dark Lord.

Time had also not been on his side when it made the days during his forced service as a Death Eater drag by, drawing out the hellish life he was living, a slave in his own home.

In the years that followed the Battle of Hogwarts, time had yet again, been against him. Though his name had been cleared by the Ministry, suspicious whispers and accusatory glares followed him wherever he dared venture in the Wizarding World. Even five years after Voldemort's defeat, he was still a hated wizard. It had been too much for Draco to bear and so he had taken refuge in the Muggle World. Close enough to the Wizarding World to feel safe, but far enough to not be recognized.

Under normal circumstances, he could have closed himself off and ignored the taunts, remaining relatively unaffected by what people said and did to him. But it was because everything they said was true, and worst of all, he was ashamed of it. He regretted nearly killing Dumbledore, becoming a Death Eater, not defecting to the Order. That was why he had fled.

She had found him though. She had seen through him and understood him. And she had loved him.

The clock on the wall chimed 3 times, startling Draco from his wallowing. He focused on the ticking clock. It wasn't anything exceptional, just a wooden clock the size of a plate that sat on the shelf across from their bed. _His_ bed, he corrected himself. The face of the clock was white, with ornate black hands and a lining of gold around the face. It had been his gift to her, an inside joke of theirs because she rarely woke up early enough to be on time for work, without a large hassle. He watch the hands of the clock travel around, making their way to 3:30. He blinked his eyes which felt raw and dry. Gazing up at the ceiling, he was pulled, semi-reluctantly, back to the time when they had painted that very ceiling….together..ish.

o0o

" _You're not painting straight," Hermione whined from below him. She was holding the ladder, which Draco was standing on, her lips pursed in disapproval._

 _He felt himself sigh, exasperated after nearly an hour of her complaint_ s. " _Why don't we just use magic then?" He loved her, but she was really getting on his nerves right now._

" _Because…" she faltered for a moment, "Because it's good relationship building."_

 _Draco glared down at her and scowled. "That's why you're forcing me to paint this blasted ceiling, straining my neck and at risk of falling of the cursed muggle contraption and breaking every possible bone in my body."_

 _Hermione snorted, "You've got a wand. You could easily levitate yourself, besides, you'd only fall onto the bed._

 _This response didn't satisfy him but he shut his mouth and went back to his clumsy paint job. It worked out for him in the end, for he was rewarded most satisfyingly for his endeavours._

o0o

The clock on the wall chimed 4, pulling him back into the present. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, enjoying the slight burning sensation. He gave up with the pointless notion of sleeping and stumbled wearily out of bed.

Despite his clumsiness, his feet made little sound as they pattered towards the bedroom door, pausing briefly in front of the floor length mirror which hung on the wall. He didn't need to see his reflection to know that his hair was messy and oily, he couldn't remember the last time he had had a shower. Was it five days ago? Six?

In the darkness, he could make out his pale face, paler than his normal tone, and his baggy, bloodshot eyes. Sleep had been non-existent since she left him. His shoulders were hunched over in defeat, something his father would not approve of. In the corner of his mind he could practically hear Lucius' harsh words of, "Pull yourself together, weakness does not suit a Malfoy," and "Malfoy's never let down face." But his father didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now. She was gone.

* * *

The weather suited his mood, cold and harsh, wet but not raining. His feet travelled swiftly yet silently along the muggle sidewalks. Draco had hoped that a jog would help clear his mind. It had been wistful thinking.

Everywhere he went, there were signs of her, memories of them and what they had shared and perhaps worst of all, what they _could_ have been. From shared kisses under the tree to his right, to the crosswalk where a car had drenched them with rainwater from a puddle.

He stopped running and leaned against a tree, panting. He could have screamed in frustration. She was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. She had left him and yet she lingered, taunting him every second of the day.

o0o

 _It was the first time he had seen her since the war and he almost didn't recognize her. She had come into the bookstore which he owned, located in the outskirts of London, and was running her hands along the spines of a particularly old collection of books._

" _Granger," he said, his voice sounded harsher than he meant to._

 _She whirled around in surprise and eyed him suspiciously, her hand wrapping instinctively around the wand in her pocket._

" _Malfoy." She returned curtly. Despite the hostility she spoke with, her eyes looked at him with obvious curiosity._

" _What are you doing here, Granger?" Draco fought to keep his voice steady, neither friendly nor unfriendly. It wouldn't do to displease the well loved War Heroine and besides, he had changed since the war. There was no need to cling to childhood grudges._

 _Her eyes raked over him, clearly deciding whether to consider him a threat or not. "I'm looking for a specific book," She said eventually._

 _He narrowed his eyes slightly, "And that book would be?"_

 _Her cheeks grew pink as she murmured, "Grushenka, Three Times a Woman."_

 _Draco looked at her in surprise and blurted out, "Isn't that a little too risque for your tastes?"_

 _Her blush deepened though her eyes flashed in annoyance, "Sod off Malfoy and tell me if you have the damn book."_

 _Draco smirked but made no further comment as he showed her to the back of the store where the rare erotica book was kept. She took it from the shelf, a blush still staining her cheeks. "Thanks," she mumbled. It was in that moment when he noticed how attractive she was, and had it not been her, he would have attempted to flirt. Ashamed of that thought, he abruptly left, allowing her to browse the books freely at her own leisure._

 _When she came to the counter with the book in her hands, he wrapped it carefully and handed it to her. He took her money, and she left. Both of them relieved to have left the other behind, not expecting to cross paths again. But fate had other plans for them._

o0o

The door behind him slammed shut. He stood dripping in the entrance of what was once _their_ home. Now, the once happy and lively flat which they had bought, painted and furnished _together_ , was cold and empty. Not unlike his life now.

Draco leaned against the front door and slid down into a crouched position, holding his knees to his wet chest. The water in his hair ran down his face and neck, dripping onto the welcome mat, but he didn't notice. Closing his eyes, he let out the sobs he had been suppressing for days now. His body shook and the sobs echoed in the silent and empty flat. In the distance, the bedroom clock chimed 5.

Eventually, he ran out of tears, though he stayed where he was, slumped against the door. Not long after the clock struck seven, the sun rose casting light into the flat and onto the lonely soul who had finally dozed off.

o0o

 _Sunlight blinded him when he opened his eyes. After a moment they focused and he saw her. She was sitting on the window bench with a book propped up on her knees, like countless times before. The morning light made her skin glow and strands of her hair sparkle like flecks of gold. He sat up in the bed and her head turned towards him, a warm smile on her face._

 _Draco watched as she approached him and climbed onto the bed. He felt the duvet dip as she shuffled around him, encircling him with her arms, resting her head on his shoulder. He could feel her breath on his ear, and her sweet scent wrapped around him like a cocoon. For the first time in a week he felt safe and complete. He sighed, relishing in her presence until his mind snapped into place._

" _Stop haunting me!" He said, ripping himself from her arms and turning to face her. "You left me," he spat, ignoring the salty tears running down his face._

" _Leave me alone!" he screamed, not giving her a chance to reply. He met her brown eyes which were filling with tears, and for a split second he regretted it._

 _She reached for him, but he shoved her away, "You left me." he repeated harshly, a tear ran down her cheek but she said nothing. They both knew, there was nothing she could say because she had left him._

 _He turned away from her as she murmured, "I love you."_

" _You left me." He repeated, bitterly._

 _o0o_

Draco roused and rolled his stiff neck, rubbing it before trying to stand. His legs were weak and his body was hungry and tired, so it did not surprise him when he failed to do so. He slid back down to the ground feeling empty, and angry. His dream had made him miss her even more, if that was even possible.

She had shattered his heart and screwed up his life all at once. He hated her for it. He hated this emptiness that now plagued him constantly.

His stomach growled, demanding food that it had been denied for at least two days now. Draco ignored it, his stomach would have to wait until he could gather enough strength the stand up.

* * *

The floo binged not long after the clock had struck 10 in the morning. Draco groaned but could not budge. His vision had been blurred for the past two hours and the dizziness had not faded. He heard footsteps stumble out of the fireplace in the living room to his right. They paused as their owner likely straightened up and adjusted their appearance.

"Draco?" a voice rang out. Mentally Draco cursed at his unwelcome visitor, but he said nothing, giving them no indication he was home.

He vaguely heard the footsteps walk tentatively out of the living room, then rush towards him. Pansy's worried face soon hovered in front of his and she said something. He didn't have a chance to reply, not that he had heard her question, before darkness took over him.

o0o

 _He couldn't see her but her scent surrounded him. He closed his eyes and inhaled her sweet scent, feeling at peace for the moment. Then he felt her breath on his neck as she rested her head on his shoulder from behind and her arms wrap around his middle. He turned his head to face her, but only saw her mop of brown curls. He felt any of his leftover anger dissipate, he was tired of hating her._

" _Hermione?" He murmured. She shushed him and began rubbing his back and massaging his shoulders._

" _Relax," she soothed, "I'm here."_

 _Draco gave in to her touch which felt warm and gentle against his sore back and muscles. He practically purred as he leaned back into her and lost himself in her smooth caresses and rhythmic rubbing._

 _o0o_

The first time Draco realized he was in love with Hermione was during their time in Australia...

 _Not long after their meeting in the bookshop, she had returned again in search of another book. This had led them into a verbal spar that had exhausted them both intellectually and physically. A week later she had returned seeking another book and then another and another. It was during her fifth visit that he had plucked up the courage to ask her out for coffee. She had stuttered out an excuse, then fled the scene. It had been completely demoralizing for him and he had been very much stung by her rejection, until he received an apology and an invitation out for lunch the day after._

 _It hadn't been anything fancy, just a coffee at the cafe down the street from his bookshop, but it had been enough to repair his ego and to light a spark between them._

 _After that, they had went out several more times before the press caught on. The wizarding world went up in smoke, and the two of them became the biggest gossip story. The War Heroine and the Once-Death Eater as the headlines put it, captured the attention of everyone. He had received howlers for days, but it was worth it. Even the threats from Potter and the hoard of Weasley's hadn't dampened his flame for her. Two months after their relationship went public, she moved in, "out of convenience" was how she put it, but it hadn't fooled anyone._

 _Their relationship so far had been rocky and full of angst but somehow they made it work. Putting the past behind them had been difficult at first, but here they were in Australia, searching for her parents. A task which she hadn't allowed either of her dimwit friends to accompany her on._

 _She had burst through the door of their rented flat, in Australia, and began sobbing the moment the door slammed behind her. He had immediately rushed out to see what was the matter, and had been confronted with the mess in front of him._

" _Granger?" He asked as he approached. Her body was curled up against the door, shaking with every sob she let out. Draco sat down beside her, pulling her into his lap where she wrapped her arms around him and began sobbing into his shirt. They stayed there for awhile until she composed herself enough to splutter out, "My parents are dead," before the tears overtook her again._

 _Draco had been in love before, but never had he ever felt the same swirl of emotions that he was experiencing in this moment for the witch soaking his shirt with her tears. It was in this moment that he knew she was the one for him. A month after they had returned from Australia, he proposed to her, determined to never let this special woman out of his life._

o0o

Draco could feel someone's eyes on him, through his closed lids. For a moment his heart had fluttered, thinking it might be Hermione. That hope had shattered the moment reality hit. Hermione was gone.

His eyes shot open and landed on Pansy. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Nice to see you too," She replied sarcastically, watching as he struggled to sit up.

"What are you doing here?" he repeated again in a calm but cold voice once he managed to sit up.

"I've been worried about you," she replied, concern clearly etched onto her face. She was sitting on a stool beside his bed, a bowl of hot water in her lap. She took a cloth out of it and wrung it out, then moved to dab his face, but he flinched away.

A flash of hurt showed on her face before she steeled herself.

"There's some soup here, do you want some?" she asked.

He bared his teeth, "No. I want you to leave."

She sighed and set the bowl of hot water down on the table beside him, next to a tray of soup and bread.

"You need to eat. Starving yourself won't bring her back."

"Fuck off."

"Draco-"

"I told you. I want you to get the fuck out of my house. NOW!"

Pansy didn't budge. "Draco, stop."

He flinched at her tone. After knowing her for years, he knew this tone meant she would not put up with any nonsense.

"I know you're upset- hell you probably feel worse because it hurts to lose someone you love. But you can't live like this Draco. It's not healthy to go days without eating or sleeping nor is it healthy for you to shut out everyone who cares about you."

He couldn't suppress a snort. "Everyone who cares? What? You mean my mother and you?"

"That's not true Draco, you know it." Pansy gave him a hard look before continuing, "I know how you feel, I felt the same when I lost Blaise…"

He sneered, "The difference is, you didn't love him. You married him for convenience, I married Granger for love." His words were meant to wound her and they did, but she didn't show it.

"It gets better with time. Go out and live your life, find a new girl and put Hermione in the past. She would have wanted you to be happy."

Her words were said with good intention but they hit him hard. He couldn't stop the rage that grew as he repeated Pansy's words in his mind.

"She was all I ever wanted!" He screamed. "There is no one else for me. No woman or girl could replace her. She was and is my life, and I cannot simply leave her in the past." His voice began to break, the rage gone from him, "She was my everything. I valued her more than my own fucking life."

Pansy watched in shock as the man in front of her fell apart and began to cry. In all the years she had known him, she had never seen him so vulnerable and heartbreakingly sad.

"Time heals everything, even a broken heart," she offered in the softest and most gentle voice she had ever used.

"My heart isn't broken," Draco heaved out between his sobs, "It's fucking shattered."

Gone was the cold and calculating wizard she knew, and in his place was a vulnerable man whose voice alone made her want to cry.

"Please," he begged. "Just go."

She nodded but said, "Two days, Draco Malfoy. You have two days to pull yourself together or I'm coming back, with your mother."

He said nothing and she took his silence as a yes.

"Time heals," she murmured in his ear as she placed a kiss on his forehead. Then she left and the flat was empty and silent again, apart from the sobs coming from the master bedroom.

o0o

Her words lingered in his mind hours after she left.

"Time heals," he repeated aloud in a scornful tone. "Time isn't healing nothing."

He glanced up at the clock which read 9:34 p.m. Ironically, this was about the time his life had been smashed into pieces scarcely a week ago.

o0o

 _He had been clinging to Hermione's cold, limp hand for hours now and although his hand was slick with sweat, he refused to let go. Her face was pale and grey, her eyelids fluttering occasionally. The rising and falling of her chest was the only indication she was still alive. He checked his watch, it was fifteen minutes after nine. He had been here for 28 hours now._

 _The machines around him beeped and buzzed, some of them had lights which flashed every so often. The room smelled heavily of disinfectant, but if he leaned in close enough to her, he could catch a whiff of her sweet scent._

 _The muggle hospital had called him yesterday explaining that his wife had been in a serious car accident and would he please come down to the Emergency Room._

 _He had rushed to her immediately, yelling hysterically at a few nurses and had nearly fainted at the sight of her unconscious body, swaddled with bandages and plastic tubes. He had never been so scared in his life, fully aware that her parents had died because of a car crash._

 _The moment he sat down in the chair beside her bed, he hadn't budged, nor had she woken._

 _The hours were beginning to catch up with him, and he was about to doze off when he felt her grip his hand._

 _He met her slightly disoriented gaze with his own relieved one._

" _Draco?" she questioned._

" _You were in a car crash. We are in a muggle hospital and you've been unconscious for about 28 hours now."_

 _Her eyes widened slightly, "I feel dizzy," she murmured and he noticed that her eyes were glazed over._

 _Draco leaned in and kissed her cheeks, "Be strong love, it will be okay. I'll go find a doctor."_

" _No," her whisper was urgent, so he stayed where he was, still clutching her hand._

 _He murmured soft, nonsensical phrases into her ear to sooth her, then trailed kisses around her face. "Stay with me, love" he whispered before connecting his lips with hers._

 _She kissed him back for a moment then pulled away, "I love you, Draco."_

 _A moment later, her hand fell from his and the machines around him went off beeping loudly, red flashing lights everywhere. The nurses and doctor rushed in seconds later and shooed him out where he waited for a torturous 15 minutes._

 _When they emerged later with solemn faces, he knew she was gone._

" _We are sorry to inform you that your wife has passed away." The doctor spoke, confirming Draco's thoughts._

 _Everything after that was a blur of grey and emptiness. She was dead. Gone. Far away, never to return._

o0o

He had no idea how long he had been sitting on the cold bathroom floor. His wand lay in two pieces a few feet away, a result of his fit hours earlier. The floor was littered with mirror shards from the mirror which had also been a victim of his anger.

Life was unfair. _Time_ was unfair.

She had been ripped away from him so soon, they hadn't had enough time together.

"Time heals," Pansy had said. But time wasn't healing him. Nothing was and nothing except for one thing. He grasped a piece of the mirror with a sharp edge and turned it around in his palm, watching as the light bounced off of it, reflecting on the walls around him. He hesitated only a brief moment before bringing it down on his wrist in a hard but swift motion. It didn't hurt for a few seconds, but he didn't wait as he made another identical slash on his other wrist. Letting the mirror shard fall, he slumped against the wall, panting as the pain increased and the blood welled up around the cuts and began running down his wrist and dripping onto the white floor.

He closed his eyes and embraced the pain, clenching his teeth, waiting for it all to be over.

Her sweet scent washed over him and he knew she was here. He opened his eyes and cringed at the puddle of blood that was forming on the floor.

"Draco..." Hermione's voice whispered sadly beside him. "My poor, sweet Draco." Her arms reached around him and held him close to her.

He tried to speak, to apologize, to yell but his mouth couldn't form any words to say.

"Shhhhh…." she hushed. "I will hold you until you are ready to go, just as you held me."

He stayed in her arms as the stinging turned into an avalanche of pain and the pool of his blood grew bigger. She held him close and for the first time in a week, Draco felt completed. She was here and she would hold him until he died.

He felt a tear drip onto his cheek and he turned his head to see her. There were tears in her eyes, running down her cheeks, but she still looked so very beautiful to him.

Hermione leaned in and kissed him. He returned it as much as he could, but he was beginning to weaken. The pain was slowly becoming distant, but so was she.

"I love you, Hermione" he forced out, wanting them to be the last words he ever spoke. Then he took in her beautiful face, her brown eyes full of love and tears, the words "I love you" on her lips and saw nothing more. The clock struck three as his body slumped against the bathroom floor, unmoving.

o0o

18 hours later, Pansy and Narcissa entered the empty flat calling his name. When silence greeted them, they exchanged worried glances and ran off in opposite directions, Pansy heading for the master bedroom.

Her heart stopped when she saw his pale body surrounded in a pool of his own blood. She turned away to avoid being sick. A note on his bed caught her attention. She walked over and picked it up with trembling hands. Written in green ink was three words that would haunt her forever. "Time isn't healing."

* * *

 **A/N pt.2: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. If you did, please favourite and review b/c I plan on making similar oneshots. Also, I am currently looking for a beta - partly because my friends are getting tired of me hounding them to proof-read and edit for me - so if you are interested, PM me. That's all folks, see you next time!**


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